Dear Future Kids,
Today is my 34th birthday.
I wonder if you’ve blown out your candle for the year this year, or if it’s still off in the distance. I hope those who are caring for you take time to make your birthday as special a day as it should be. I wonder if we’ll celebrate it together, or if next year will be our year to throw you a party…
Either way, I got a nice gift today. Your dad got the approval for his finger printing, and a few papers he needs to fill out to finish a background check before we can really dig deep in our search for you.
It’s a great gift and I can’t wait to share the news with him when he gets home.
But I know birthdays aren’t always the easiest, most fun days for kids that are adopted. They bring up a lot of thoughts of our biological families. You might think about a past birthday you celebrated with them or your foster family. You might cherish those memories or wish they were different. You might wonder if they are thinking about you. And ya know what, I get that. I had a lot of those thoughts too. In fact, I wonder if I used to make a really big deal about my birthday to drown out some of those thoughts. They are hard to deal with sometimes. I mean, I know was raised by exactly who I was supposed to call family, but at the same time, the very first time I was abandoned by someone was on my birthday. So I get that birthdays can be tough.
But there is hope, kiddoe.
Even if every adult that ever failed you forgot about your birthday – it’s the day you came into this world.
And because of that day, and the decisions your parents made, both good and bad, you can come into our lives.
That is a day worth celebrating for us.
We can’t erase any pain days like your birthday might cause you, but we can celebrate what we have together, and we can be together through the hard days.
So even though today is my birthday, I can’t help but be excited to celebrate your “Gotcha Day”! The day we get to call each other family – for good.
Dear future kids,
We’re making the big push to get you here and out of foster care! Every day seems to be a little more progress lately. It feels really nice since the process can sometimes be painfully slow since we know you’re out there waiting on us. Today, I made the appointment to get my fingerprinting done to start the FBI required background check. We’re still waiting on your dad’s approval (which seems more than a little strange, since they let him have clearance for the Navy, but we’ll do whatever it takes.
Last weekend, we finished building your beds! (Don’t worry, the stuffed animals there are just the ones I had on hand. There are TONS more to choose from – and most of them are Disney!)
On the top bunk is a very special little bear called Be-With-Me-Bear. Your dad gave him to me when I found out your grandfather (my dad) had cancer and didn’t have much time left. Be-With-Me-Bear tends to travel with me when your dad can’t. The big white bear on the bottom bunk is Gypsy bear. I’ve never quite decided if it’s a ‘he’ or a ‘she’, but Gypsy has been with me since I was about 5 years old. My parents brought him/her back from a trip to Peru. Your grandmother (my mom) has helped patch Gypsy up on lots of occasions. All good memories.
I wonder if you’ll have a Be-With-Me-Bear type pal. I wonder what he/she/it will look like. You get to pick!
We know you haven’t been able to make many choices in your young life so far. I’m sure you would never have choosen a rough start, if you could have had some say in it. We’d like for you to have say in things here. So, while we’re making your room warm and friendly, I’m looking forward to what changes you’ll want to make! If Gypsy and Be-With-Me-Bear ends up back on my bed, well, I won’t fight ya’ on that one.
We can share. Afterall, we’re family, you just don’t know it yet.
Dear Future Kids,
I’m sorry. Your future parents are a kind of nerds.
In fact, my latest souvenier from our recent trip to Disneyland (hopefully the last trip without you) is a back pack that matches my I love Nerds wallet. It has Disney characters with glasses on it looking styling. It also says things like “Nerds Rock” and “I love science”. It’s pretty true in our case.
I’ve been a Disney nerd since I was 2 years old. That gives me just about 32 years of Disney nerdom under my belt. Your dad has been a Disney fan for most of his life, but he hit nerd status when we started going to Disneyland and Disney World whenever we got a vacation, so he’s officially a Disney nerd too.
Disney isn’t all about princesses and pirates though. They have some pretty cool stuff.
“Can’t Wait to Race With You, Champ!”
Your dad is also a big Star Wars. He can also tell you the back story of just about any super hero, and he’s getting into photography in a big way. He plays video games as time allows. When he’s not playing, he’s usually up to date on the lastest gaming news (though don’t get any ideas – Grand Theft Auto games will not be showing up on your screens any time soon in our house).
We’re finally to the point were we’re waiting on paperwork now. We’re waiting on getting our finger prints checked out so they can be sure we’re safe for you and don’t have any criminal history. With a little luck, we’ll meet this summer!
Right now, we’re dreaming about our first ‘Gotcha Day’ anniversary vacation. Disneyland and a road trip? Disney World? A Disney Cruise? Maybe an international Disney vacation? We’ve been dying to go to Japan!
We can’t wait to see your first passport picture.
Afterall, we’re family, you just don’t know it yet.
We started buying things for your room this weekend. It’s a bit challenging since we don’t know what you like, and your room is a place we want you to see as ‘your space’, but we were able to get a couple books and a couple movies. We’re still on the look out for beds and have some other things to check off the list for the Social Worker’s visits next month. December will certainly be busy for us! During the first week, we’ll finish our CPR/First aid/Blood borne pathogen training. During the next week, we’ll have our first visit from our social worker. 3 days before Christmas, we’ll have the last visit (hopefully) from the Social Worker to get our home study approved.
Finally, after Christmas, your dad will have leave and we’re planning a trip to California to visit my family and to go to Disneyland for what may very well be the last time without you. We can’t wait to make those kinds of memories with you.
If you like Disney or sports, or both, you’ll enjoy a lot of your childhood with us! If you don’t, I’m sure you’ll teach us all about your interests when we get to meet you.
As we slowly work on furnishing your room, things are getting more and more real.
Your dad just started night classes as part of his job. Even though his schedule can be a bit unpredictable at times, I hope you’ll see that his dedication pays off.
In fact, I’m sure that’s something you’ll see from us. We’re good at being persistent. You won’t have known me before my days at the gym, but I’ve grown leaps and bounds since I started there about a year ago. I wonder if you’d be interested in Kids Crossfit? It’s a fun way to get some energy and stress out, and a great way to make new friends. Some of the friends I’ve made through my trainer have been incredibly encouraging when it comes to bringing you home. They’ve been encouraging, and one is even an mom (through adoption) of 6! She’s been really helpful at getting me to center myself and tackle each hurtle one at a time.
Yesterday, I finished nearly all the paperwork I need to do in this round, and your dad made a good dent in his as well. Some of the questions were really challenging, but I know it’ll all pay off in the end.
After all, we’re family, we just don’t know it yet.
Sometimes it feels like you’re one day closer. Other times it feels like maybe I’m not ment to adopt at all. It’s so easy to get discouraged, since we’re entering year two of this journey and it seems like something new comes up everyday that bars the path to bringing you home. Time lines don’t line up. Different things pop up here and there. Right now, we’re still trying to get the contractor to do some small jobs for us (he’s trying to figure out how to get us funding so you can each have your own room), and we need a form from your Dad’s home state that has a good chance of not getting here in time for his deployment…and if that doesn’t happen, meeting you may be yet another year away…
But when I feel like, “Maybe this is a sign?” I keep remembering something from one of my favorite books. “Brick walls are there to keep people out. They are there to keep OTHER people out.The people who don’t want it badly enough.”
So maybe these ‘brick walls’ aren’t ment to impede my progress to you. Maybe they are here to make me prove how much you’re wanted here.
Who knows, but I cling to the faith that we’re family; you just don’t know it yet.
Dear Future kids,
Well, we finished yet another required training course! Yeah! Now, we need to finish this binder full of paperwork. We’re chipping away at it day by day.
I trust that you’re out there, waiting on us. Every day, every peice of paper, we’re one day closer to being a family.
We’re family, you just don’t know it yet. (And I can’t wait to let you know!)