Grandpa & Extended Family Gatherings

Dear Little Ones,
  This weekend, I spent a weekend away from home with my parents (your grandparents) and some extended family. All of your Grandpa’s siblings were there and it was really special. You know, for a long time I didn’t connect with my extended family. I felt like I didn’t quite belong. Other than knowing I was adopted, there was really no reason they gave me to feel that way. I just – did. I wish I had better words to explain it. I hope, if you feel that way, we’ll be able to talk about it. I hope you’ll understand that, even though I’m your mom, I ‘get it’. You may not think so, but I do. It took me until now, my early 30’s, to really understand and appreciate them as people. Your dad thinks my family is pretty cool too, even though he couldn’t be here today.
  That brings up something interesting. I want you to know that your dad loves you too, and he’d rather be with you than where ever the Navy may send him. He has a very tough job, making sure we’re safe, and sometimes that job will call him away. My dad couldn’t be around all the time either when I was growing up. He wasn’t military, but he traveled a lot. Sometimes, it was hard. I know he missed my Jr. Prom because he was traveling and I wished he could have been there. But he’s always loved me, and I know your dad will love you from afar even it he can’t be with us all the time. You and I will probably have fun stuffing his seabag full of goodies, so he can be lovingly reminded of us no matter how deep under the sea his submarine goes. Your dad is part of an elite squad. He’s a really smart guy. I listen to him a lot, and you should too.
 I hope you get to meet your Grandpa – my dad. That’s one of my greatest fears, that you won’t get to meet him. While I can’t control that, I know your lives would be better for having known him. He would make an amazing Grandfather and he really is a wonderful man. He’s been sick for a while with Pancreatic Cancer – a terminal illness in this day and age. (Hopefully, by the time you read this, it will be a completely curable illness.) No matter what happens with his health, I know you’ll see bits and pieces of his legacy in the way your dad and I live our lives. My family is full of beautiful examples of what is possible when shared values, love, and commitment follow through. We carry on his balance of youthful humor and mature strength every day, and I’m sure your Uncle will reflect that for you too.
  One of your dad’s fears is that his legacy won’t be carried on, but I already know that will be quickly laid to rest.Though my dad is not biologically related to me, he’s bound to the very fabric of my being through his undying love for me and my brother. We are his living legacy, though we don’t share his genetics. We follow in his footsteps while blazing our own trail.
  And that’s what I want for you, dear ones.

I can’t wait to guide you on your own path and see where it leads you.

You are uniquely you and we are family… you just don’t know it yet.

All my love,
Your Mom


About justdontknowityet

Adopted during my first year of life into a family that had a already adopted a boy. My bio mother was 15 and swore she was raped. With almost no pre-natal care, I survived and joined my forever-family. Blood may be thicker than water - but love is stronger than both. Now, my husband and I are in the process of building our own family through adoption. Our process is complicated somewhat by his service as a Navy Submariner. Sometimes the best things come from the most surprising and challenging situations. The goal of his blog is to honestly express the challenges, pit falls, heart breaks and joys of this process in letters to our future family. Every child is wanted by someone.
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