“…that we were ment to adopt… I don’t want it to sound like a ‘plan b’, it wasn’t. It was the plan that was ment to be.”-Ouradoptionoption
Dearest little ones,
I haven’t written in a while. Sadly, the process on this end is pretty much on ‘pause’ until your dad gets home from deployment and our funding comes through to complete our homestudy. And then even more waiting begins!
That ‘pause’ button is sometimes hard to deal with. Every military family wishes they could hit ‘pause’ on life the moment of deployment, and fast-forward to the part where the service member comes home so life can go on in a way that’s more easily shared than our limited means of communication. I’m sure you’ll feel this way too. It’s very normal, and while that’s little comfort, I’ll be there to help you through it. Keeping busy helps. You’ll be busy with the life of a child, whatever stage you may be at (and I’m sure that means I’ll be twice as busy) and that helps the time pass more quickly But there are going to be times when it just sucks that he’s not around… and I’ll be there for those too. I’ve had a lot of practice at enjoying ‘Flying Solo’ while Dad is our “Finding Nemo” on his submarine, so I’m sure we’ll get through any deployment together in stride. We’ll have our moments of tears, but they won’t drown out our joy. We’ll have time to develop our own form of pixie dust, since the ‘pause’ button can’t apply to every factor of our lives while Dad working under the waves.
While we wait to dive into the next step in our homestudy process, your dad and I are getting ready to enjoying what might very well be our last year (or two) as a family of 2 (plus the dogs, of course)!
Even with all that, it’s hard not to feel alone in this waiting. But I know you’re out there too – whether you’ve been born or not, just waiting on us too. We’ll hurry. I promise.
I can’t wait to meet you. Will you have light or dark hair? Light or dark skin? Blue, green, hazel, or brown eyes?
These are the mysteries that keep me smiling, keep me focused, and keep giving me hope and feeding my imagination about what things will be like in the future. What kind of foods will you like? Will we be ordering a pizza to celebrate Friday nights, or be snuggled in with a bottle? Will you be an early riser or a late sleeper? How will your hugs feel? How will your tears tear at my heart strings (even when I have to stay strong)? Will you like the outdoors or be a book worm? or both? Will you enjoy hunting with your dad or going to musicals and plays with me? What sport (if any) will you like to watch?
One thing you should know in our family: There is a place for you, but there is NO pre-arranged expectation of you, other than the expectation that we’ll be learning and growing together.
These are the things that keep me waiting on you, even when it feels like you’re little more than a distant dream.
I’m writing this blog for you to look back on some day, if ever you choose too. If you ever question if you were wanted, or loved. I hope they can stand as written proof to you that you are already so loved, and so wanted.
Science may help create people, but love it’s love that binds us together.
After all, we’re family, you just don’t know it yet.