Celebrating Each Step

Celebrating our marriage with my Niece

Celebrating our marriage with my Niece

Dearest Little Ones –

It’s time to celebrate!
This week I finished a huge chunk of the paperwork required to bring you home. It’s called my ‘autobiography’ and it’s ment to give the agency, social workers, or even the your biological parents a feel for who I am. I say “I”, not “we” because your dad isn’t home yet from his deployment and he’ll have how own 90 page stack of papers to fill out when he gets home.
  A lot of the questions made me think about things I haven’t given too much thought to. Like discipline. Since we’re not sure what stage you’ll be in in your life when you get to us, that question was especially challenging for me. It made me think back to how my brother and I were raised. Since I feel my parents did a pretty good job, I plan on borrowing some pages from their playbook. My brother (your uncle) and I were very different personalities as we grew up. He had a short fuse and a fiery temper. (In fact, I almost didn’t get adopted because he threw a fit in the social worker’s office, leading them to suspect he was being abused! That couldn’t have been further from the truth – he just couldn’t have something he wanted and he was an angsty 3 year old, but it still caused some chaos during the process.)  I was on the other extreme – I rarely rocked the boat unless it was absolutely necessary. For me, all my parents had to say was “I’m very disappointed in you,” and I suddenly would be devasted and feel completely worthless. Things like being grounded got through to me. But for my brother, he needed to have more discussion. I’m not sure what will get through to you, but I have some tools we’ll have to test out.
  I thought my parents knew everything when I was growing up, but as a grown up getting ready to parent, I understand that it’s a process of trial and error. I’ll be constantly learning about you, what you need, what you want, how I can help you reach your dreams and tap into your true potential. Being your mom actually requires nearly 30 hours of training in a classroom, but I have a feeling that you will be my true classroom.
  But for this weekend, I’m going to celebrate being one step closer to bringing you home by having my autobiography ready to be turned over to the agency. Once we’re able to pay the fee, our homestudy process will officially begin and we’ll be one step closer to bringing you home to stay.
 Afterall, we’re family, you just don’t know it yet. 
 Much love, 
Your mom.


About justdontknowityet

Adopted during my first year of life into a family that had a already adopted a boy. My bio mother was 15 and swore she was raped. With almost no pre-natal care, I survived and joined my forever-family. Blood may be thicker than water - but love is stronger than both. Now, my husband and I are in the process of building our own family through adoption. Our process is complicated somewhat by his service as a Navy Submariner. Sometimes the best things come from the most surprising and challenging situations. The goal of his blog is to honestly express the challenges, pit falls, heart breaks and joys of this process in letters to our future family. Every child is wanted by someone.
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1 Response to Celebrating Each Step

  1. Delana says:

    Great job on writing a letter to your little ones! Journaling the journey is such an important part of the process. I feel so strongly about it that I created a journal with prompts, quotes, inspiration, and recommended reading to help parents during their paper pregnancies. It’s called My Paper Pregnancy Journal. http://nineyearpregnancy.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/unique-adoption-journal/
    Blessings on your journey!

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