Dear Future kids,
Well, we finished yet another required training course! Yeah! Now, we need to finish this binder full of paperwork. We’re chipping away at it day by day.
I trust that you’re out there, waiting on us. Every day, every peice of paper, we’re one day closer to being a family.
We’re family, you just don’t know it yet. (And I can’t wait to let you know!)
I think I may have heard your story today. We’re still a far cry from finding out if you’re really ment to be with us, but I think I heard your story today. My heart broke of the tragedy that brought you into foster care and may, one day in the not-too-distant future, bring you to your forever-home. Maybe, just maybe, that home is with us.
Because I respect you, even if you end up being a valued part of someone else’s family, I won’t share your story here. If you become part of our family, who you share your story with is up to you. How you want to handle that is up to you. No matter what, we will always be here for you when the past gets too heavy to bare alone. You’ve already amazed me with your strength and coming as far as you have. I hope that someday you’ll call us home, but if not, I know your forever home is out there getting ready for you.
That said, we’re a few steps closer to you than we were last time I updated this! Your dad and I got our certificates for passing our 27 hour training class! We’ve scheduled the CPR/First aid/training/Bloodborn pathogen training in early December. We’re working with a contractor to get the house and room(s) ready for you. Just when we thought you were going to have bunk beds and share a room, our contractor may have found a solution that lets everyone have their own room, plus having extra space for a guest! We’ll see how things go on that front, but we’re getting ready!
It’s exciting and exhausting at the same time. I just can’t wait to be done with these piles and piles of paperwork and be ready to meet you!
After all, we’re family; you just don’t know it yet.
Loves of love,
Dearest Little Ones,
I’m happy to report that there has actually been some progress in bringing you home! Your dad and I are 2 days away from being down with the training classes required by the State. It’s been a long week, packed full of discussions, work, and listening. I’m still making sure to take care of myself during this process for the most part. I did miss a work out yesterday, but I know that things don’t always go according to plan.
We’ve decided a few things that have helped us narrow down the search for you. We think you’re in the USA, so that gives us a little less of the world to search for now. We’re not sure what you look like yet, or if you’ll come to us as you are or with brothers and sisters, but hopefully we’ll have an even more clear path to you after this weekend, when we decide on an agency and start the Homestudy.
Going through the State required classes have been an interesting journey for me. It’s really been bringing back what it was like to grow up myself. So many things ring true, even though I was adopted as an infant. It’s been very helpful to reassure me that we’re going to be a good fit, even if we have to work at it for a while.
Hopefully I’ll meet you as early as next year.
After all, we’re family; You just don’t know it yet.
Dearest little ones –
There is a misconception in the world that adults don’t fall down. That only kids show up with scraped up knees and banged up shins.
Well, I’m here to tell you, you won’t be living in that kind of household. Your father comes home with bruises shaped like valves just about every day from work, and I think my knees and shins are permantly a slight shade of blue and purple from work outs in the gym.
And ya know what? It’s okay. Around here we celebrate our bruises and scrapes, because they show that we’ve probably learned something (even if it’s just to be more careful in the future).
We may bruise. We may bleed. But we don’t break.
We pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, learn the lesson, and try again.
This particular bruise came form learning to do lunges deep enough to touch my knee to the ground. It’s been months since this one, but I’ve earned a few new ones. The inside of my knees were pretty bruised up when I overcame my fear and tackled a new height in box jumps. My thighs have a few bruises from learning how to do heavy Power Cleans. (Yeah, your mom likes to lift weights.)
The truth is, it helps me manage stress. There are so many things in life we just can’t control – and right now, a big part of that is what we call “family planning”. Your father’s schedule won’t lighten up for us to be able to classes necessary to get you until this fall at the earliest… so we’ve been at this adoption thing for over 2 years by the time we even get to really start on the homestudy process… sometimes, it feels like forever… it’s almost enough to make me wonder if you’re even really out there – the kiddoes ment to be part of our family. Maybe we’re just ment to be a family of 2 and have big dogs forever? While I know I could live with that, I know I’d regret never getting to know you…
But time will tell, and that’s just one thing that’s beyond my control.
For now, for today, I choose to hope our pathes will cross soon. Afterall, we’re family, you just don’t it yet.
Love, Your Mom
Dearest Little Ones,
I know I haven’t blogged for a while. Things have been wonderfully hectic around here as we turn the corner from the death of your grandfather, my dad. With the love and support of your dad, I’ve started writing a book about what it was like growing up with your grandfather for a dad. It’s a way for me to remember all the wonderful little things that made our relationship great. I’m hopeful that someone who is questioning whether adoption can build a family as bonded as those built by science and biology might stumble across it and see that it’s entirely possible. After all, that’s how I grew up. Your Dad is proving to be a pretty amazing guy too. He’s been very supportive when I’ve needed him. His been a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, and someone who I know is 100% in the trenches of life with me. No matter the distance or challenges life brings, deaths, financial, military scheduling, etc. I know that he’s invested in our family 100%.
It breeds my eternal hope for a bright future together as a family.
Unfortunately, it’ll probably still be a year or more before we meet. At times, that’s frustrating, but where ever you are, I hope you know that we’re making good use of the time, getting ready for you. We had thought we found a way around the scheduling conflict we keep running into with your classes, but it turns out that we’ll have to get those classes under our belts in order to get an approved homestudy for ANY adoption route. So we’re back at square one with that. I’ll continue to do research while your dad is out Finding Nemo on his Submarine, and hopefully we’ll be able to work some in during his leave period this December. It’s a long time to wait, but I’m sure it’ll fly by in the blink of an eye. It gives me time to focus on healing in my family before we add you to it.
You’ll have your own bit of healing to do, no doubt, but that’s all part of us growing together as a family. I’ll be better equip to help you after this experience. They say everything happens for a reason and in its own perfect time. We just don’t always know what the reason is.
But I do know that we’re family, you just don’t know it yet.
Love always – Your Mom
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people!” – Randy Pausch
Dearest little ones,
We’ve licked our wounds from having to close our previous adoption attempt through the state, and realized that we’re not just ‘giving up’ on you or our family. We all deserve better than that, so we’ll do better! All that avenue means is that we have narrowed our feild of adoption. Since the classes are a state requirement, we won’t go through the state foster-to-adopt system.
Instead, we’re researching interstate and international private adoptions. So while your dad is out Finding Nemo under the sea, I’ll be getting things ready to jump into that arena as soon as he returns. Hopefully we’ll all be celebrating Christmas 2014 or 2015 together.
The quotation above is from one of my favorite books, The Last Lecture. The man who wrote it has several things in common with your grandfather. They were both great guys, loving fathers, and they both died cancer – no doubt the plague of this generation. Neither of them were good at giving up. Generally, that’s something I’ve inherited and hope to pass along to you. Not every brick wall in life is ment to be surmounted by every person. Some walls are ment to redirect us to a different path. So we’re going to take the brick wall that seems to be made up of your Dad’s schedule defending our country and the local requirements for adoption through the foster system, and taking it as a redirection.
Will we find you in the states? Will we find you across the ocean?
I don’t know yet, but I know we’re family. We just don’t know it yet.